Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Just landed via Reddit:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Going viral on YouTube:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Just shared via Telegram:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Just landed via Threads:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Making waves on Reddit:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Just landed via Discord:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

616 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

1 month ago

absolutely, around, calling, day, doing, doing nothing, floating, got, hr, humor, insult, jellyfish, just, nothing, office, office humor, sent, someone, workplace
Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

1 month ago

daily, daily routine, day, distraction, humor, media, monitor, need, reminder, routine, scrolling, situation, social, social media
I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

1 month ago

accounts, daily, daily deposit, day, deposit, every, everyone, finance, humor, i, just, money, payment, should, think, thinking, wake, wake up, waking, wishful, wishful thinking
You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

1 month ago

bad, bad decision, day, decision, deprivation, exhaustion, hard, horrible, humor, late, late night, next, next day, night, procrastination, sleep, sleep deprivation, stay, stay up late, tiredness
Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

1 month ago

casual, cheeseburger, craving, day, eating, feels, food, good, good day, humor, snack, today
There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

1 month ago

1, advertising, break, commercial, commercials, day, entertainment, humor, media, month, should, television
Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

1 month ago

babe, communication, concern, dark, dark humor, day, humor, joke, okay, relationship
You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

1 month ago

bad, bad day, cheeseburger, day, even, food, frustration, help, humor, know
May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

1 month ago

body, butt, challenge, clothing, comfort, day, getting, hardest, humor, jeans, over
Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

1 month ago

acceptable, casual, casual wear, coffee, coffee cup, comfort, cup, daily, daily routine, day, holding, humor, norm, pajama, pajamas, relaxation, routine, social, social norm, socially, wear

For even more funny day quotes, hit next 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

87 shares on Discord this month:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

45 shares on Discord this month:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Trending via WeChat:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Seen just now on Slack:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Breaking via YouTube:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Going viral on Snapchat:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I woke up alive again.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Activity Log ✨

616 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨