Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Shared recently on Instagram:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Making waves on Instagram:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Trending via Telegram:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Trending via Pinterest:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Shared recently on X:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

16 Funny decide quotes

Funny decide quotes bring a burst of laughter to those tricky moments when making choices feels impossible 🤔😂. Whether you’re stuck between pizza toppings or life-changing decisions, these witty lines add a splash of humor to the struggle 🎉🍕. Ready to smile while you ponder? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on the art of deciding that’ll brighten your day and lighten your mind! 😄✨

New funny decide quotes 👇

For even more funny decide quotes, hit next 👇

All funny decide quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

83 shares on X this month:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Spotted on Threads:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Just shared via X:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Just landed via Reddit:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Going bananas on Telegram:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Making art is making love to the world.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Making waves on Reddit:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Just shared via Instagram:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

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