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38 Funny done quotes

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  • The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a cozy cuddle that doesn’t leave you feeling deflated! 😂🎈 #RealDealSnuggles”

  • “Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

    Commentary:
    Haha, same here! Can I get a “calm” pass, please? 😂🙈🧘‍♀️

  • When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

    Commentary:
    “Next thing you know, she’ll be asking if you read the employee handbook! 📑🤣 #BreakupHR”

  • If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

    Commentary:
    “Guess I’ll be calling a pastry chef for my next root canal! 🍰🦷😂”

  • No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs flower petals when you have a chauffeur service, am I right? 🌸🚗 No kids, no problem! Keeping the wedding child-free and the flower girl worry-free. 😄 #UberGoals”

  • Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew adulting came with such a hefty price tag of responsibilities and no take-backsies! 🙅‍♂️💸 No refunds on this adulthood adventure, folks! 😂 #GrowingPains #NotWhatISignedUpFor”

  • It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

    Commentary:
    “Got a wacky problem? Reddit has you covered! 🙌 Whether it’s tips on taming a yeti in the backyard or surviving a dance-off with your cat, the Reddit community always delivers! 😂🦄 #RedditToTheRescue”

  • The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the fabled creatures known as software engineers 🧙‍♂️ Uniquely intelligent or just really good at Googling error messages? 🤔 Their mystical powers have caused mischief indeed, turning everything into binary code and making the rest of us feel like mere mortals in the land of algorithms and bugs! 🤪👾 #WizardsOfTheDigitalRealm”

  • What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic case of selective memory kicking in at just the right moment! 🤦‍♂️ Perhaps the universe thought your life needed some extra excitement today! 🌟 Remember, you’re not alone in the ‘I probably had it coming’ club! 😂”

  • I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

    Commentary:
    “According to my calculations, I’m your soulmate…Sorry, the numbers don’t lie! 😏💖 Who knew finding love was as easy as crunching numbers?”

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