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28 Funny follow quotes

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

1 month ago

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

1 month ago

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

2 months ago

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

2 months ago

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

2 months ago

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

2 months ago

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

3 months ago

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

3 months ago

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

3 months ago

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

3 months ago

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

3 months ago

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

3 months ago

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

3 months ago

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

3 months ago

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

3 months ago

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

3 months ago

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

3 months ago

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

3 months ago

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

3 months ago

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

3 months ago