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Funny follow quotes 🤪 are your ticket to a hilarious journey through the world of social media! 🚀 Whether you’re looking to tickle your timeline or give your followers a reason to giggle, these witty gems 💎 will have everyone laughing out loud 😂. Perfect for brightening up your feed, these quips promise to keep the good vibes rolling! 🌟 So, get ready to dive into a collection of chuckles and LOLs that are sure to make your day brighter! 😄

New funny follow quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Commentary:
When your brain insists on being your heart's chaperone 😄🧠❤️
2 weeks ago
Share →: “Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Commentary:
"Taking advice from my heart is like getting directions from a GPS with a crush on that bakery down the street! 🧭💖🥐"
1 month ago
Share →: The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Commentary:
"Finally, a math equation I can get behind: fewer friends = more cake! 🎂🍰😋 #CakeEconomics"
4 months ago
Share →: When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Commentary:
"Who knew that your backyard burial could also double as a botanical sanctuary? Remember, nothing protects your secrets quite like an endangered species—just don't forget to water the evidence! Stay tuned for more quirky gardening advice and unconventional life hacks!"
4 months ago
Share →: If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive art of eavesdropping thwarted by considerate neighbors. How dare they deprive us of our daily dose of neighborhood drama! It's a real tragedy, really. Perhaps it's time to invest in a good pair of binoculars and a spy kit for optimal snooping efficiency."
5 months ago
Share →: Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Commentary:
"Guess cats are just looking for some purr-worthy movie recommendations! 🐱🍿 Who knew they were so 'particular' about their film choices… 😹📽️"
5 months ago
Share →: I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Commentary:
"Oh, the betrayal of diets! They promise so much, but when it comes to giving back, they ghost you like a bad date. Unfollowing seems like the only reasonable response – who needs that kind of one-sided relationship anyway?"
5 months ago
Share →: If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern approach to romance – block first, ask questions later! Who needs love letters when you can have a solid block list instead? Follow for more tips on how to keep your heart safe and your social media drama-free!"
5 months ago
Share →: About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Commentary:
Oh, so you're saying eating a donut counts as a workout now? 🍩💪 Talk about muscle activation in the tastiest way possible! 😂 Who needs a gym membership when you've got a box of donuts, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ #FitnessGoals #DonutLover
5 months ago
Share →: Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'being on a diet isn't so bad if you don't follow it' clearly knows the secret to a guilt-free snack attack 🍪🥗 Pro tip: Just call it 'diet-adjacent' and you're good to go! 😄 #DietingDilemmas"