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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has copied:

You’re a β€œhaha” girl, and I’m an β€œlol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has downloaded:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has shared:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Facebook:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Seen just now on X:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Live now on LinkedIn:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Shared recently on Facebook:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Trending via LinkedIn:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has viewed:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has copied:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has shared:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has shared:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with β€œDearly Beloved”.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Mice after a breakup be like β€œwe are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has downloaded:

The tag on my jeans says β€œRelaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has copied:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has copied:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Reddit:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Making waves on TikTok:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Live now on Pinterest:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Just landed via X:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Going viral on Threads:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

β€œYour call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, β€œthat’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Going viral on WeChat:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

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