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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,025

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Trending via TikTok:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Just landed via X:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Just shared via WeChat:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Just landed via Telegram:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Home » Funny Joke Quotes » Page 149

1560 Funny joke quotes

More funny joke quotes 👇

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

0

4 months ago

agreement, before, friends, friendship, humor, joke, NDA, please, sign, trust
Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

0

4 months ago

due, eat, eating, floor, food, humor, inflation, joke, seconds, time
(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

0

4 months ago

age, coworker, family, humor, joke, me, son, workplace, year, younger
People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

0

4 months ago

humor, joke, misunderstanding, nap, naps, people, productivity, relaxation, rest, sleep, think, time, understand, waste, work
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

0

4 months ago

animal, animal care, care, caretaker, chicken, farm, humor, joke, literally, people, pun, take, wordplay
If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

0

4 months ago

advice, answer, bite, death, die, give, humor, joke, poison, should, simply, snake, sure, survival, wait
People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

0

4 months ago

bro, finance, honesty, humor, irresponsible, joke, just, me, money, people, personal, personal finance, rich, spending, think
Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

0

4 months ago

actually, funnier, humor, identify, identity, joke, people, perception, personality, sarcasm, self, self-perception, wit
There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

0

4 months ago

coffee, drink, food, growling, humor, hunger, i, iced, iced coffee, joke, just, reason, should, stomach
On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

0

4 months ago

again, coworker, credit, hr, humor, joke, Mastercard, nickname, office, office humor, sarcasm, take, work, workplace

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🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Facebook this month:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is short, flirt with me!

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Spotted on Instagram:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Seen just now on Discord:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Just landed via Discord:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Just shared via Reddit:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Shared recently on X:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Making waves on Telegram:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Going viral on X:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Activity Log ✨

1560 Funny joke quotes

More funny joke quotes 👇

All funny joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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