Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Just shared via X:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Just landed via Twitch:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Trending via Threads:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Live now on Snapchat:

Tested positive for being single af

Shared recently on Threads:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Spotted on Facebook:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Spotted on Twitch:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

1611 Funny joke quotes

More funny joke quotes 👇

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

3 weeks ago

alive, enjoy, financial, financial joke, finished, humor, joke, life, money, said, short, short life, spending, still, survival
Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

3 weeks ago

5, body, body image, fatter, future, here, humor, i, image, joke, myself, self, weight, where
Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

3 weeks ago

again, China, Chinese, Chinese food, culture, eating, food, girlfriend, got, humor, i, joke, relationship, repetition, sense, think, time, today, yesterday
Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

3 weeks ago

around, everyone, guide, humor, i, job, joke, just, knowing, knowledge, love, me, need, only, think, tour, tour guide, travel, walking
Doctor said I am terminally chill.

3 weeks ago

am, chill, doctor, humor, i, joke, medical, medical joke, relaxation, said, terminal
Onion rings? I’m answering.

3 weeks ago

answer, answering, food, humor, joke, onion, onion ring, ring, rings
Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

3 weeks ago

courtroom, culture, dance, defense, hammer, honor, humor, i, impression, joke, legal, misunderstanding, pop, pop culture, time, under
It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

3 weeks ago

actually, answer, delivery, door, food, Funny, hands, humor, joke, people, pizza, think, visitor
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

3 weeks ago

anyone, different, different realm, escape, fantasy, humor, introvert, joke, me, needs, realm, social, social withdrawal, withdrawal
My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

3 weeks ago

dead, humor, joke, life, own, relationship, sex, sex life, tombstone

For even more funny joke quotes, hit next 👇

All funny joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WeChat this month:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

46 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Breaking via Discord:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Just shared via Facebook:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Live now on Reddit:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Shared recently on Discord:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Just shared via Telegram:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Going viral on Messenger:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Spotted on X:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Activity Log ✨

1611 Funny joke quotes

More funny joke quotes 👇

All funny joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨