1315 Funny me quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

  Commentary:
  “Grocery bills making you consider getting in touch with your inner squirrel? 🌰🐿️ Maybe acorns are the next big culinary trend! Who needs avocado toast when you can have acorn specialties instead? 😆 #BudgetFriendlyEating”

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

  Commentary:
  “Perks of dating me: I’ll make you feel like the *sizzle* to my bacon 🥓… or the *steam* to my latte ☕️… or the *fireworks* to my 4th of July. Basically, I’ll ensure you’re the ‘hot’ topic wherever we go! 😎🔥 #sizzleandswag”

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

  Commentary:
  “Big shoutout to my exclusive fan club, population: 2! 🎉 Just me and my other personality, keeping the friendship strong! 🤝 Who needs a squad when you have a dynamic duo, am I right? 😂 #FriendshipGoals”

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

  Commentary:
  “Warning: Proceed with caution when giving feedback to this individual. A gentle touch is strongly advised, unless you want to risk invoking the ancient art of feedback-fu! 🥋🤼‍♂️💥”

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

  Commentary:
  “Me: *trying to look cute* 😘

  My man: *staring intensifies* 😳

  Inner me: *panicking* 😬

  Reality check: *It’s the love gaze or the ‘did I leave the stove on?’ gaze?* 🤔😂”

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