2018 Funny me quotes

• The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

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  5 months ago

  aging, attitude, decision, easier, exit, exit strategy, humor, i, maturity, me, older, say, situation, strategy

• Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

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  5 months ago

  availability, behavior, conversation, drinking, drunk, emotional, emotional availability, emotionally, humor, i, me, please, sober, social, social behavior, stop, talking, taxi, unavailable, why

• Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

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  5 months ago

  connection, humor, me, merge, merge soul, quirky, relationship, soul, weird

• People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

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  5 months ago

  bro, finance, honesty, humor, irresponsible, joke, just, me, money, people, personal, personal finance, rich, spending, think

• Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

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  5 months ago

  exaggeration, fruit, giving, humor, lemon, lemons, life, me, situation, throwing, unexpected, unexpected situation, watermelon

• Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

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  5 months ago

  best, better, circle, comparison, doing, food, humor, i, knows, life, me, pizza, rat, routine, social, social circle, sometimes, Subway, subway rat, think, urban, urban life, where

• Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

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  5 months ago

  hatred, here, humor, imagination, imagine, just, love, making, me, over, relationship

• I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

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  5 months ago

  awkwardness, dominance, humor, i, interaction, me, minute, small, small talk, social, social interaction, someone, talk, yawn, yawning

• If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

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  5 months ago

  attitude, blame, evil, humor, man, me, meet, origin, personality, think, transformation, wait

• Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

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  5 months ago

  anxiety, escape, give, humor, just, me, minutes, panic, panic room, room, time

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