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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Just landed via Threads:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Just landed via Threads:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Breaking via Instagram:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Trending via Discord:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

19 Funny outdoors quotes

Funny outdoors quotes bring a splash of laughter to your nature adventures 🌲😂 Whether you’re hiking, camping, or just soaking up the sun 🌞, these witty lines add extra fun to every step and every bug bite 🐜😆. Perfect for sharing around the campfire 🔥 or brightening up your feed, they capture the wild, weird, and wonderful moments that make outdoor life unforgettable! 🌿🤣

New funny outdoors quotes 👇

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

18 hours ago

animal, breeze, enjoying, here, humor, i, just, nature, nighttime, outdoors, owl, solitude, tree, trees
Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

20 hours ago

experience, humor, laptop, outdoors, outside, working
I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

2 months ago

appearance, confidence, enjoy, enjoyment, humor, i, let, outdoors, people, pretty, self-love, should, today, walk
Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

2 months ago

comparison, humor, Instagram, just, media, outdoors, outside, people, social, social media, Twitter
Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

2 months ago

creek, feet, forgot, humor, less, life, lot, nature, outdoors, phone, relaxation, sucks, truck, unplugged
Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

2 months ago

always, answer, camping, decision, humor, joke, never, outdoors, refusal, right, sarcasm, say, someone, want
The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

2 months ago

closer, environment, humor, idiots, nature, outdoors, sarcasm, wilderness
Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

2 months ago

beautiful, blessing, cheerful, day, gratitude, humor, lord, nature, outdoors, positivity, smell, sunny, sunny day
Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

2 months ago

air, difference, fresh, fresh air, health, humor, humor quote, nature, outdoors, plant, plants, self-care, sound, sunlight, well-being
Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

2 months ago

beauty, compliment, flowers, humor, looking, love, maybe, nature, outdoors, playful, positivity, too, trees

For even more funny outdoors quotes, hit next 👇

All funny outdoors quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on X this month:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

35 shares on Threads this month:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Live now on Messenger:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Making waves on Twitch:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Breaking via Slack:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Just landed via Slack:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

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