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30 Funny parent quotes

Trending Funny Parent Quotes 🔥

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.
Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.
Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.
The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

More funny parent quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Commentary:
"Playdates: the ultimate guilt trip for parents who just wanted a peaceful Saturday but end up in a cleaning frenzy instead. 🤦‍♂️🧹 #ParentingStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical transformation of wine from 'mommy juice' to 'daddy's little helper' after a day of parenting mayhem 🍷👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💫 #Parenting101 #BottomsUp"
5 months ago
Share →: When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' 'speak to the manager' move, starting them young, I see! 😄👶 Next thing you know, they'll be demanding a refund for nap time interruptions! #ToddlerTantrums"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Commentary:
"Parenting: where the line between 'rocking it' and 'almost causing a wakeup apocalypse' is as thin as a screen protector! 🤳😴⚖️ #ParentingBalance"
5 months ago
Share →: Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Commentary:
"Parenting 101: Master the art of carrying your kid out of a store like a surfboard 🏄‍♂️ Who needs a gym membership when you have a squirming child to wrangle? 😆 #ParentingProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of modern parenting! From content providers to children in the blink of an eye 👶📱 Who knew raising kids could be so tech-savvy? 😂 #ProudParentingMoment"
5 months ago
Share →: Strict parents raise good liars.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of deception perfected under the watchful eye of strict parents! 🕵️‍♂️🤥 It's like they're training their kids for a secret agent career in the world of fibs and white lies. 🤫😂 Just remember, honesty is the best policy… unless you're dodging a curfew check!"
5 months ago
Share →: The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Commentary:
Oh, the classroom – where parents' secrets go to get a PhD in "public knowledge"! 🤭📚 Little do most parents know that their kids are the ultimate informants in the school gossip network. 🕵️‍♂️📝 It's like having a tiny espionage agent infiltrating your personal space! 😅🔍 #ParentalSecretsExposé
5 months ago
Share →: A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive perfect parent – armed with a library of child-rearing books but not a diaper in sight! 📚💁‍♂️ Who needs real-life experience when you've got all the theories, right?! 😂 #ParentingGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Commentary:
🤹‍♂️🎄Parenting is a true test of letting go – especially when those ornaments are hanging by a thread and your inner perfectionist is screaming! Just remember, it's all part of the holiday charm, right? Who knew that teaching patience could be so festive? 🤪🎅