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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Making waves on TikTok:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Going viral on Twitch:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Just landed via TikTok:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Making waves on Messenger:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Just shared via WeChat:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Live now on WeChat:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Making waves on Instagram:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Spotted on TikTok:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Going viral on Telegram:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

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