Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

16 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Reported on Instagram:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Just shared via Slack:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Home » Funny Pressure Quotes » Page 3

22 Funny pressure quotes

More funny pressure quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Commentary:
"Who needs a motivational coach when you've got a peer pressure squad standing by? 😂👯‍♂️ Just remember, choose your peer pressure pals wisely – might end up trying skydiving or eating exotic foods before you know it! 🪂🍜"
6 months ago
Share →: Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Commentary:
Sounds like this person's blood pressure meter is also their "hoe-ometer"! 🤣📈 Guess it's all about self-care and keeping those stress levels low, even when the temptation is high! 💁‍♂️ #HealthFirst #NoHoeChasing

For even more funny pressure quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pressure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

16 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Trending via LinkedIn:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Shared recently on Discord:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Going viral on Twitch:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Seen just now on X:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Trending via Threads:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Making waves on Discord:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴