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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Going viral on Facebook:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Live now on Snapchat:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Just shared via X:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Going viral on X:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

14 Funny printer quotes

Funny printer quotes bring humor to the frustrating world of office technology! 🖨️😂 From paper jams to ink shortages, these witty remarks capture the quirks and chaos of dealing with a printer. Get ready to laugh at the shared struggle of coaxing these machines to cooperate! 😄📄

New funny printer quotes 👇

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

6 days ago

app, convenience, dating, dating app, humor, nearby, people, printer, sharing, technology, Tinder
Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

6 days ago

advice, asking, comparison, doctor, doctors, engineer, humor, idea, medical, medical advice, nutrition, printer, printers, software, software engineer, technology
Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

6 days ago

connect, connection, cry, crying, frustration, goal, humor, laptop, new, printer, technology, three, times
Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

6 days ago

before, breakup, broke, communication, computer, computers, friend, friendship, humor, mutual, mutual friend, night, printer, printers, relationship, technology, treat
You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

1 week ago

awkward, awkward situation, big, big time, communication, know, mess, mess up, printer, relationship, situation, someone, technology, time
A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

2 weeks ago

again, bring, convenience, frustration, house, humor, i, leave, need, next, print, printer, service, tech, thing, where, working, year
If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

2 weeks ago

crime, ever, frustration, humor, i, jail, murder, printer, technology
Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

2 weeks ago

conversation, frustration, humor, i, joke, me, print, printer, show, sounds, sure, technology
The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

3 weeks ago

comparison, feeding, function, humor, kid, kids, need, noisy, offline, printer
Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

3 weeks ago

enthusiast, frustration, gun, house, humor, i, keep, next, noise, only, piece, printer, shoot, smart, smart house, tech, tech enthusiast, tech worker, technology, worker

For even more funny printer quotes, hit next 👇

All funny printer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Discord this month:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I can resist everything except temptation.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Trending via Discord:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Spotted on Reddit:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Spotted on Facebook:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

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