Funny quotes self-control

17 Funny self-control quotes

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

1 month ago

I can resist everything except temptation.

1 month ago

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

3 months ago

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

3 months ago

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

3 months ago

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

3 months ago

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

3 months ago

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

3 months ago

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

3 months ago

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

3 months ago

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

3 months ago

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

3 months ago

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

3 months ago

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

3 months ago

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

3 months ago

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

3 months ago

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

3 months ago