Funny quotes self-control

17 Funny self-control quotes

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I can resist everything except temptation.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Funny Quotes Feb 4, 2025

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025