39 Funny speed quotes

• The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

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  4 weeks ago

  escalator, faster, humor, joke, only, speed, thing, wordplay

• If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

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  4 weeks ago

  coming, even, family, footsteps, humor, member, relationship, speed, stairs, tell, weight

• A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

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  4 weeks ago

  better, competition, cycling, cyclist, faster, humor, i, me, run, shark, speed, swim, triathlon

• Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

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  4 weeks ago

  5, downloading, internet, internet speed, minutes, nostalgia, patience, progress, remember, song, speed, technology, under

• Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

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  4 weeks ago

  accident, animal, clumsy, cute, dog, dogs, door, full, humor, meme, pet, pug, ran, regular, speed

• I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

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  4 weeks ago

  birth, child, child birth, daily, daily life, family, faster, humor, i, kid, life, motherhood, parenting, put, speed

• The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

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  4 weeks ago

  communication, faster, gossip, humor, speed, technology, town, Wi-Fi, wifi

• I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

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  4 weeks ago

  driving, humor, i, overtaking, people, reason, road, sarcasm, speed, traffic, why

• Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

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  4 weeks ago

  brain, bump, communication, humor, humor quote, i, impulsiveness, mouth, self-awareness, sometimes, speech, speed, wish, wit

• I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

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  4 weeks ago

  actually, analogy, competitive, competitive humor, fast, fast walking, humor, i, losing, note, observation, people, playful, playful sarcasm, race, race analogy, sarcasm, social, social observation, speed, walk, walker, walking, walking speed

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