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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

34 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Just landed via X:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Shared recently on Threads:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Spotted on Slack:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Spotted on TikTok:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Live now on Twitch:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Home » Funny Staff Quotes

Funny staff quotes

Funny staff quotes bring a burst of laughter to the workplace, turning everyday office moments into hilarious memories 😂🎉 Whether it’s witty comebacks, clever observations, or just pure silliness, these gems keep the team spirit alive and the coffee flowing ☕️😄 Ready to brighten your workday and share some chuckles? Dive into the world of funny staff quotes that prove a little humor goes a long way! 🎈✨

New funny staff quotes 👇

7 days ago
Share →: Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Commentary:
When multitasking becomes a superpower, but nobody gets the cape. 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️💸
6 months ago
Share →: When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Commentary:
Well, looks like even God has his own VIP section and doesn't bother with staff meetings! 🤣🙏 After all, running the universe must keep him pretty busy. #BossMoves #HeavenlyHierarchy
6 months ago
Share →: Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Commentary:
"Twitter: where everyone's thoughts are on display, but sanity is nowhere to be found! 🐦🤪 #BirdsOfAFeather #CrazyTweets"
6 months ago
Share →: My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Commentary:
Well, who knew staff meetings could lead to such eye-opening revelations? 😴💡 Sounds like a real wake-up call, literally! 😉 #OfficeLife #SleepApneaAwareness
6 months ago
Share →: The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the infamous staff meeting that no one dares to forget! 😂 Darth Vader really showed his true management style with that forceful display of frustration. It seems like the dark side of the Force wasn't just about battling Jedi, but also about dealing with difficult colleagues. 🌌💼 May the HR department be with you!
6 months ago
Share →: The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ol' 'fake it till you make it' strategy on full display! 🤣 Who knew a simple shirt could be the ultimate power move in life and in avoiding chores at crowded events? 🙌 Bravo to this genius mastermind wandering around in plain sight! 👕💼 #LifeHack101"
6 months ago
Share →: HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Commentary:
Oh, HR always trying to ruin the fun! 🤣 Remember folks, asking 'How stupid can you be?' is not a challenge, it's just a rhetorical question…maybe. 😜 #HRwoes #OfficeHumor

For even more funny staff quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny staff quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

34 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Going viral on Slack:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Making waves on Twitch:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Spotted on Discord:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Making waves on WeChat:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Reported on TikTok:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Spotted on Messenger:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

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