Funny staff quotes

• Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

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  3 days ago

  around, ask, awkwardness, customer, humor, indecision, interaction, member, normal, person, shop, shopping, social, social interaction, something, staff, times, walk, works

• Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

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  2 months ago

  decision, employment, existing, extra, hiring, humor, job, management, office, paying, role, salary, staff, staffing, workplace

• When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

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  2 months ago

  afterlife, death, God, going, humor, irony, maker, meet, mingle, people, say, someone, staff

• Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

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  2 months ago

  commentary, community, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, psych, psych ward, social, social media, staff, Twitter, ward

• My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

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  2 months ago

  apnea, diagnosis, health, humor, irony, meeting, sleep, sleep apnea, staff, staff meeting, workplace

• The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

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  2 months ago

  choke, choking, cool, coworker, culture, darth, Darth Vader, force, humor, lost, meeting, pop, pop culture, scene, sci-fi, staff, staff meeting, star, Star Wars, used, vader, wars, workplace

• The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

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  2 months ago

  back, cleverness, confidence, everywhere, humor, i, identity, secret, shirt, staff, success, wear, workplace

• HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

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  2 months ago

  being, challenge, communication, feedback, hr, humor, me, saying, staff, stop, stupid, stupidity, taken, workplace

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