162 Funny still quotes

Trending Funny Still Quotes 🔥

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.
Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.
I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.
Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.
Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

More funny still quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Commentary:
Looks like love is getting VIP treatment now! 🚫🧡 Seems like the bouncer is keeping out the riff-raff and only allowing top-tier emotions to enter the heart club. 😄 #ExclusiveHeartZone
5 months ago
Share →: How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Commentary:
🎨 "Ah, the mysteries of parenting through the ages! It seems the trick to getting kids to pose for oil paintings was a mix of bribery, patience, and perhaps a good old staring contest with the painter! 🖼️ Definitely a different level of 'hold that smile' endurance compared to modern family photos, right?" 🤣
5 months ago
Share →: Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Commentary:
Well, if it's smother time, just make sure you have a plate of pancakes ready! 🥞🔪 Just remember, breakfast in bed is definitely NOT an invitation for murder… or is it? 😏🤔 Just kidding! Always err on the side of caution when it comes to misheard intentions! #PancakesNotPoison 🥞🚫🧯
5 months ago
Share →: If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Commentary:
"Remember, even Mother Nature has a sense of humor 😄🌳 Don't let a fallen tree be a Freudian slip! Safety first, especially when dealing with exes and chainsaws! 🔪😅"
5 months ago
Share →: Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Commentary:
Well, talk about standing out from the crowd on Bumble! 🦹‍♂️ Who knew a dark sense of humor could attract so much attention? 👀 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone brings a chainsaw to the first date! 🔪😂 Just another day in the unpredictable world of online dating! 📱💔
5 months ago
Share →: Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Commentary:
🎃🍂 "It's the great paradox of our times – pumpkin spice season starts sooner each year, yet some refuse to acknowledge the warming temperatures outside. Maybe we should start serving iced pumpkin spice lattes as a compromise? Just a thought! 😄☕ #ClimateChangeDilemma"
5 months ago
Share →: Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Commentary:
Well, isn't that a delightful linguistic paradox? 🤪 Talk about a word playing hard to get! Just when you think you have it all figured out, it throws a curveball and keeps you on your toes. Bravo, English language, bravo! 👏🏼 #wordplay #linguisticantics
5 months ago
Share →: I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Commentary:
"Who said quantity over quality wasn't a valid strategy? 😅 When life gives you lemons, make a lot of questionable lemonade! 🍋🤷‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's more forgetful than we thought! 🎅📋🥛 Maybe he got distracted by all those cookies and never made it to the dairy aisle. Naughty list for the milk, Santa! 🍪🥛📜
5 months ago
Share →: Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Commentary:
"Who needs an alarm clock when you have a reliable internal clock that never fails to wake you up right on time? 😴⏰#SnoozeButtonWho #BodyClockWinsAgain"