86 Funny text quotes

• My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

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  2 months ago

  breakup, communication, ex, good, humor, i, me, miss, past, reception, reply, saying, sorry, technology, text, zero

• The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

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  2 months ago

  best, graduation, humor, kid, message, messages, parenting, school, text, text message, unsubscribe

• If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

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  2 months ago

  back, cat, cats, communication, humor, pet, sarcasm, text, texting

• Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

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  2 months ago

  communication, digital, humor, i, impulsive, media, messaging, press, psycho, reaction, read, send, social, social media, sometimes, text, think

• I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

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  2 months ago

  communication, contact, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, sarcasm, social, social media, technology, telepathy, text, texting

• People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

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  2 months ago

  communication, funny observation, greeting, happy, humor, missing, new, new year, observation, people, rest, text, year

• If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

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  2 months ago

  boss, breakfast, cheese, croissant, end, food, going, ham, hour, humor, joke, late, lateness, office, prank, sure, surprise, text, texting, workplace, workplace humor

• By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

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  2 months ago

  back, communication, disrespect, disrespectful, even, humor, i, media, procrastination, remember, social, social media, text, texting, time, too

• If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

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  2 months ago

  communication, humor, i, life, modern, modern life, relationship, reply, sarcasm, text, texting, timing

• Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

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  2 months ago

  5, back, dating, disappointment, humor, joke, key, Mambo, me, minor, music, music parody, musical, musical joke, naming, parody, relationships, text, texting, women

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