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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has copied:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has copied:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothesβ€”one size too smallβ€”that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has viewed:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has bookmarked:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has copied:

Men be like, β€œThat’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on WeChat:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Going viral on Twitch:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Spotted on Slack:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Just landed via Discord:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Trending via X:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Just landed via Slack:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Just landed via Discord:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

38 Funny ugly quotes

Funny ugly quotes are the zesty spice of life, turning imperfect moments into laughter πŸ˜‚. These quirky gems remind us that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, while humor lies in the unexpected πŸ€ͺ. Embrace the hilariously awkward and celebrate the wonderfully weird with a smile 😊. Whether it’s a wacky hairstyle or a goofy grin, these quotes bring a dash of joy to the beautifully bizarre 🌟. Dive into the delightful world of funny ugly quotes today! πŸŽ‰

New funny ugly quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny ugly quotes, hit next πŸ‘‡

All funny ugly quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Threads this month:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has viewed:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has downloaded:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Twitch:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

Making waves on Facebook:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say β€œdingoes”.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Just shared via Twitch:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

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