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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Trending via WeChat:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Just shared via Twitch:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Just shared via Instagram:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Breaking via Telegram:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

38 Funny ugly quotes

Funny ugly quotes are the zesty spice of life, turning imperfect moments into laughter 😂. These quirky gems remind us that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, while humor lies in the unexpected 🤪. Embrace the hilariously awkward and celebrate the wonderfully weird with a smile 😊. Whether it’s a wacky hairstyle or a goofy grin, these quotes bring a dash of joy to the beautifully bizarre 🌟. Dive into the delightful world of funny ugly quotes today! 🎉

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All funny ugly quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Twitch this month:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

62 shares on Discord this month:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

78 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

90 shares on Threads this month:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Trending via Threads:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Going bananas on X:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Going viral on Reddit:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Spotted on Messenger:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Trending via WeChat:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

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