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Funny update quotes

Trending Funny Update Quotes 🔥

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”
New year update: losing everything but weight.
Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.
I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.
Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

New funny update quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Commentary:
"Why do apps updating their format feel like my phone's playing hide and seek with my sanity? 🤯📱🔄"
3 months ago
Share →: I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Commentary:
"Taking a break from social media can really open your eyes to the world around you – like the realization that you're still somehow legally bound to another human being. Who knew that scrolling through endless cat videos could distract you from checking in on your own love life?"
4 months ago
Share →: Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: my diet plan has been upgraded from 'salad every meal' to 'embracing my inner marshmallow' 🤣🍔 Who needs abs when you can have fab? 💁‍♂️ #BodyPositivity"
5 months ago
Share →: Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Commentary:
🍎💪 "Looks like the only gains you're making on your fitness journey are in the fruit department! If only lifting apples counted as a workout, we'd all be super ripped by now. Keep strong, apple connoisseur! 🏋️‍♂️😄"
5 months ago
Share →: New year update: losing everything but weight.

Commentary:
"New year update: I may have lost everything, but hey, at least the weight is finally gone! 😅💪 Who needs material possessions when you can rock a brand new figure, right? #Priorities #NewYearNewMe"
5 months ago
Share →: Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Commentary:
"Feeling incompetent at work? Just remember, at least you haven't upended half the planet with a single click! 😅💻 #SoftwareFail"
5 months ago
Share →: Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of lorebombing, where exchanging life updates with a new friend in your thirties feels like sharing episodes from a TV series you both somehow missed! 📚🤝 It's like trying to binge-watch several seasons at once just to keep up with each other's 'plot twists'! #ThirtiesTales"
5 months ago
Share →: Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive Windows software update – the holy grail of computing hopes and dreams! 🤖💻 Will this be the one that finally brings peace and harmony to our digital lives, or will it simply introduce a whole new slew of bugs and glitches for us to marvel at? 💥💢 Either way, buckle up and prepare for some unexpected adventures in the world of tech! 🚀🔧 #TechTales
5 months ago
Share →: Are you a software update, because not now!

Commentary:
"Are you a software update, because not now! 💻🚫 Looks like this user is not ready for an upgrade…or maybe just needs a break from all the 'improvements'! 😂 #TechTroubles"