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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Live now on X:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Just landed via YouTube:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Making waves on X:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Spotted on Facebook:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Shared recently on Threads:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Funny wanting quotes

Funny wanting quotes are the perfect way to laugh at those silly cravings and impossible desires we all have 😂✨ Whether it’s wanting that extra slice of cake 🍰 or wishing for a nap during a meeting 😴, these witty lines capture the fun side of wanting more (or wanting less!). Ready to smile and relate? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on the art of wanting! 😄🔥

New funny wanting quotes 👇

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

0

2 months ago

area, dating, disappointment, holiday, horny, horny single, humor, meet, only, real, Santa, single, singles, wanting
I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

0

2 months ago

coming, daily, daily life, getting, going, home, humor, life, procrastination, ready, routine, sleep, thinking, wanting, work
Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, doing, ending, even, humor, irony, laziness, lot, love, motivation, plans, procrastination, productivity, things, wanting, yay
Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

0

2 months ago

anyone, business, combo, communication, crazy, dilemma, emotion, frustration, humor, know, privacy, rant, secret, wanting
Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

0

2 months ago

another, anticipation, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, longing, patience, waiting, wanting, wishing
How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

0

2 months ago

anonymity, avoidance, boundary, desire, desire to disappear, disappear, escaping, escaping recognition, i, interaction, longer, me, people, personal, personal boundary, privacy, recognition, social, social avoidance, social interaction, someone, unknown, want, wanting, wanting to be unknown
The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

0

2 months ago

chores, clean, clean house, cleaning, conflict, house, laziness, motivation, move, procrastination, relax, struggle, Sunday, wanting
The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

0

2 months ago

able, being, buy, happiness, irony, much, not wanting, secret, simplicity, want, wanting, whatever
The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

0

2 months ago

conflict, day, desire, internal, internal conflict, just, laziness, motivation, nap, productive, productivity, rest, struggle, wanting
Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, decision, due, humor, i, not wanting, wanting, will not be

All funny wanting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,228

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Trending via Slack:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Breaking via Threads:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Trending via Pinterest:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

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