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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,991

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Seen just now on Reddit:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Just shared via Threads:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Spotted on Facebook:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Live now on Messenger:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Spotted on Messenger:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Live now on Threads:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Going viral on Discord:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Going viral on Discord:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Seen just now on Threads:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

115 Funny weird quotes

Funny weird quotes 🤪✨ are the zany little nuggets that tickle your brain and make you question reality with a giggle! They’re the perfect cocktail of whimsy and wisdom, shaking up the mundane with a splash of the unexpected. Ready to dive into a world where words dance on the edge of absurdity and brilliance? Let these quirky gems brighten your day and keep your imagination on its toes! 🌟🎉

New funny weird quotes 👇

For even more funny weird quotes, hit next 👇

All funny weird quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

100 shares on Threads this month:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

59 shares on X this month:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

38 shares on X this month:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

89 shares on X this month:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,087

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Just shared via Instagram:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

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