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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Trending via X:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Going viral on Facebook:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Just landed via TikTok:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Freshly posted on X:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Going viral on WeChat:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Making waves on WeChat:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Just landed via YouTube:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Just shared via Threads:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Just landed via Telegram:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Just landed via X:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Spotted on Twitch:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

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