22 Funny yours quotes

• My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

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  4 weeks ago

  bet, humor, less, lose, loss, new, New Year’s resolution, others, presumption, resolution, rude, rudeness, sarcasm, weight, weight loss, year’s, yours

• Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

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  4 weeks ago

  bedtime, bedtime procrastination, control, control issue, day, day end, end, feels, give, issue, last, personal, personal time, procrastination, sleep, sleep issue, time, yours

• There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

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  4 weeks ago

  available, family, home, house, humor, mom, need, possession, rule, something, yours

• “You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

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  4 weeks ago

  bacteria, biology, complex, complexity, diversity, gut, gut microbiome, health, humor, joke, just, mad, microbiology, microbiome, science, science joke, yours

• “It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

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  4 weeks ago

  course, deep, ever, humor, insult, intelligence, mind, nothing, sarcasm, shallow, wit, yours

• If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

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  4 weeks ago

  boundary, car, comfort, driving, elbow, humor, little, middle, passenger, personal, personal space, piece, riding, space, yours

• They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

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  1 month ago

  compatibility, friends, humor, invention, life, line, planning, schedule, should, social, social life, yours

• I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

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  1 month ago

  banter, breakfast, eat, eating, humor, i, jokes, posts, sarcasm, witty, yours

• My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

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  1 month ago

  cold, comparison, happening, humor, illness, me, worse, yours

• When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

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  1 month ago

  answer, ask, better, confidence, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, response, sarcasm, social, social interaction, weekend, witty, witty response, yours

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