Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,840

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Live now on Messenger:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Going viral on Pinterest:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Making waves on Twitch:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Going bananas on X:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

More funny quotes 👇

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

0

5 months ago

age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology
Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

0

5 months ago

activity, behavior, business, humor, minding, minding business, own, personal, personal space, sarcasm, social, social behavior, space, unpopular, unpopular activity
Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

0

5 months ago

eating, entertainment, front, guy, humor, me, movie, observation, page, popcorn, reading, snack, while, Wikipedia
“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

0

5 months ago

brother, doing, harder, humor, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, smarter, things, work
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

0

5 months ago

boy, boys, cool, humor, joke, me, milkshake, reach, shelf, top, top shelf, yard
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

0

5 months ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman
Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

0

5 months ago

allowed, celebrity, child, child name, children, culture, humor, name, naming, parenting, pop, pop culture, should
All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

0

5 months ago

acting, always, forget, humor, i, line, performance, stage, world
Work beers should be a daily thing.

0

5 months ago

beer, beers, culture, daily, daily routine, humor, office, office culture, relaxation, routine, should, socializing, thing, work
The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad singer, community, heart, humor, music, passion, people, self-expression, sing, singer, singing

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on X this month:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

70 shares on Reddit this month:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

54 shares on Slack this month:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

77 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

64 shares on Discord this month:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

32 shares on Slack this month:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Seen just now on Discord:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Going viral on Threads:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Going viral on Messenger:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Going viral on YouTube:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨