Commentary:
Adulting Level: Expert 🧺🥗🚶♂️ #LivingTheDream #FlossLikeABoss 😄
Author Archives: slickboy
Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.
Commentary:
Guess it's time to choose my "Official Scapegoat of the Year"! 🐐😆
There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.
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Is this the day I find out my friend is secretly a superhero or just really good at coffee runs? 🦸♀️☕️👔
I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.
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Having a seasoned pro teach sex ed is like learning to swim from a shark—you're definitely getting the real deal! 🦈😅📱
I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.
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Proof that babies are the original mic drop artists 🎤👶✨
“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.
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Work less, live more! Can I get a "heck yeah" from my couch? 🛋️😴 #Priorities
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
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Sounds like my socks are trying out for a new reality show, "Lone Socks of the Laundry Room"! 🧦😂
If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.
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Oh yeah, my "job" is definitely a "real" career… so I'm doing just "great" 😂✌️
Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.
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"Pretty sure my phone buzzes more for cake reminders than for actual calls! 🎂📱😂"
I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.
Commentary:
When you realize the holiday spirit is just a spooky HR meeting with festive lights 👻🎄🤑