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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,032

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Just shared via YouTube:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Spotted on Reddit:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Making waves on WeChat:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Live now on Slack:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Trending via Facebook:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Going viral on Instagram:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

0

2 months ago

activity, annoyance, Bluetooth, Bluetooth speaker, came, fun, fun activity, hear, hike, katy, Katy Perry, listen, music, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, perry, speaker, stop, woods
Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

0

2 months ago

chores, cycle, excuse, household, household chores, humor, i, late, left, machine, minute, only, procrastination, sorry, washing, washing machine
I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

0

4 hours ago

budgeting, even, fact, finance, humor, i, joke, million, money, opportunity, personal, personal finance, self-deprecating, spending, waste, year
I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

0

2 months ago

Blockbuster, call, CEO, confirm, humor, job, job title, joke, nostalgia, put, resume, store, title, video, video store
This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

0

2 months ago

humor, invisible, masturbate, people, read
Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

0

2 months ago

911, breathe, call, ever, exercise, hand, hill, quieter, raise, relatable, strangers, tried, walking
The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

0

2 months ago

foot, function, furniture, house, humor, object, toe
Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

0

2 months ago

being, fish, fishing, food, guy, humor, hunger, hungry, imagine, irony, lesson, needs, survival, teach
Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

0

2 months ago

body, body positivity, call, calls, confidence, eat, fat, food, humor, positivity, sarcasm, someone, too, want, whatever
Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

0

2 months ago

AI, ChatGPT, conversation, coworker, daily, daily life, day, end, every, humor, joke, life, new, office, say, technology, used, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

23 shares on Discord this month:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Spotted on Telegram:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Making waves on Messenger:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Breaking via Slack:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Shared recently on Facebook:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Trending via Facebook:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Activity Log ✨

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨