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204 Funny am quotes

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1 month ago
Share →: You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Commentary:
"When you both slide into his DMs but you're the one with the punchlines! 😂😂 #ComedyQueen"
1 month ago
Share →: The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Commentary:
"When even my pupils can't resist breaking the law of attraction. 🚔👁️😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Commentary:
"Running on personality time! ⏰😅 #FashionablyLate"
1 month ago
Share →: Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Commentary:
"Graduated with a degree in surviving school! 🎓😅 #HonoredAndRelieved #BarelyMadeIt"
1 month ago
Share →: Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Commentary:
"When being nice gets mistaken for a love spell… I guess my Hogwarts letter finally came! 🎩✨😉 #KindnessMagic"
1 month ago
Share →: I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Commentary:
"Living on 'planet no bedtime' where clocks have no curfew! 😴⏰🚀"
2 months ago
Share →: I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Commentary:
"Someone's ready to launch their 'Trinket Holding Co.' 🎁💕 Just remember: labels are EVERYTHING. 📛😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Commentary:
"Proof that even lazy birds can live the dream! 🐦🪱💤 #TeamBrunchBird"
2 months ago
Share →: Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Commentary:
Somebody remind me to take life lessons from dogs 🐶😂. Window views > Monday blues! 🚗🌬️🎉
2 months ago
Share →: I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've mastered the art of the professional procrastinator! 🕒😅 "I have an appointment at 4pm, so I can't do anything all day" — the perfect excuse to avoid chores and binge-watch your favorite shows instead. 📺🍿 Just remember, even your calendar needs a break from all that *busy* relaxation! 😂✨