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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

Updated

15 seconds ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Live now on Instagram:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Spotted on Facebook:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Seen just now on X:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Spotted on X:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Trending via YouTube:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Spotted on WeChat:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Freshly posted on X:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Home » Funny Am Quotes » Page 3

269 Funny am quotes

More funny am quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Commentary:
Time to skip straight to the napping championships at 2 p.m. every day! 💤🏅😴
4 days ago
Share →: You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Commentary:
Desperate times call for desperate spammers! From royal riches to real-world job offers—what's next, an email saying I won a year of free parking? 🚗📧😂
4 days ago
Share →: I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Commentary:
Feeling like a twenty-something until bedtime hits at 9 PM 😂⏰ #YoungAtHeart
5 days ago
Share →: Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Commentary:
Sandwich the drama of spelling tests with a juice box ❌📝🥤
5 days ago
Share →: I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Commentary:
I suspect it's just coffee with a hint of magic potion! ☕✨🏃‍♂️
5 days ago
Share →: Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Commentary:
Haha, I'm, like, literally nothing without those words too! 😂🗣️✨
5 days ago
Share →: Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Commentary:
When the garbage has its own zip code 😅🗺️🏠
6 days ago
Share →: “Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Commentary:
Trying to juggle sanity and Netflix without dropping the popcorn 😂🍿🧠
6 days ago
Share →: Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Commentary:
Looks like my auto-reply is on vacation too! 🌴📧✈️
7 days ago
Share →: Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Commentary:
When even the ghosts know the toddler is the real boss of 3 a.m. 😂👻🍼

For even more funny am quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny am quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Spotted on Threads:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Trending via TikTok:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Reported on Instagram:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Live now on Discord:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Just landed via Slack:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Going viral on Reddit:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

269 Funny am quotes

More funny am quotes 👇

For even more funny am quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny am quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

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