13 Funny attack quotes

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  1 week ago

  Share →: Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

  Commentary:
  😂🍹 "This liver's playing hide and seek like a pro! Who knew internal organs could outsmart a drink? Cheers to culinary camouflage!" 🍔🎉

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

  Commentary:
  "Pretty sure my bank account's therapist is on speed dial! 😂💸 #FinancialAnxiety"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

  Commentary:
  🤣 "Ah, the mysterious ways of the traumatized mind – capable of handling a crisis like a seasoned pro, yet get them near the vegetable aisle in a grocery store and all bets are off! It's like their survival instincts are on vacation while their anxiety decides to throw a party in the produce section! 🛒😱"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

  Commentary:
  "Good news for antique doll collectors! 🎎 Keep calm and carry on with your doll collection – they're probably too busy looking fabulous to plan any murderous schemes! 🪆🔪 #DollsJustWannaHaveFun"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your immune system has a strict 'no smiles allowed' policy! 😄🦠 Don't worry, maybe try a stealthy smirk next time to avoid any rebel white blood cells. Keep those immune cells on their toes! #SmileStruggles

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

  Commentary:
  "Karma is out there keeping score, reminding us that even seagulls have their day in the sun ☀️🕊️ Just imagine the look on that seagull's face when it collects its karmic dues! 😂 #KarmaIsReal #SeagullRevenge"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

  Commentary:
  "🍿📽️ Ah, the classic tale of cinematic wars where differing opinions are declared 'personal assaults'! 🤣 Remember, folks, it's not just a movie, it's a battlefield! 💥💭 #FilmFights"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

  Commentary:
  🤯 "Defending your Ph.D. is like the academic equivalent of a championship fight – except no one warned you that you'd have to battle a committee of professors instead of stepping into a ring! Who knew academia could be so cutthroat? 😂 Just remember, you've got this – stand tall, maintain your sanity, and show 'em who's boss!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew being a shark's meal could make you feel so unique? 🦈 Just remember, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade… or in this case, shark bait! 😅 Stay positive, right? Stay fin-tastic, my friend! 🌊"

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