18 Funny burn quotes

• We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

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  2 weeks ago

  burn, cd, humor, label, media, music, nostalgia, record, record label, retro, running, technology, underground, used

• I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

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  1 month ago

  burn, calorie, cat, exercise, fitness, humor, i, pet, petting, relaxation, wonder

• The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

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  1 month ago

  burn, cooking, day, draining, face, food, humor, i, kitchen, me, pasta, relaxation, spa, spa day, steam, steam burn

• Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

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  1 month ago

  burn, decide, decision, decision making, dinner, food, humor, i, making, meal, meal planning, order, pizza, planning, procrastination, trying

• Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

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  1 month ago

  bridges, burn, hope, humor, keep, metaphor, night, revenge, sarcasm, warm, warmth

• Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

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  1 month ago

  activity, avoid, avoiding, avoiding someone, awkwardness, burn, calorie, calorie burn, exercise, exercise humor, funny activity, humor, i, just, know, social, social awkwardness, someone, trying, Walmart

• His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

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  1 month ago

  attraction, burn, compliment, inside, lit, me, metaphor, romance, sensuality, slow, slow-burn, smooth, voice, whiskey

• How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

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  1 month ago

  apple, Apple Watch, audible, audible sigh, burn, calorie, credit, exercise, fitness, humor, i, me, sarcasm, self-awareness, sigh, technology, think, watch

• If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

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  1 month ago

  burn, burn calorie, calorie, enough, exercise, head, humor, media, scroll, scrolling, shake, shake head, shaking, social, social media, too, Twitter

• How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

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  1 month ago

  back, burn, calory, exercise, hear, humor, waiting

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