14 Funny burn quotes

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

  Commentary:
  Cooking skills so advanced, I'm now a certified smoke signaler 🍕🔥😆

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

  Commentary:
  "🔥 Sleep tight in your toasty bridge bonfire! 😴🚧🤣"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew avoiding awkward encounters was the ultimate cardio workout? 😂🏃‍♂️💨 #WalmartOlympics"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like the kind of guy who can turn a karaoke night into a full-blown concert! 🎤🔥🥃"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

  Commentary:
  "Has anyone cracked the code on audible sighs yet? 🤔 I swear, my Apple Watch must be snoozing during those intense sighing moments. 💨 At this rate, I might need a separate fitness tracker just for my exasperated expressions! 😂"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

  Commentary:
  Wow, Twitter should come with a warning label: "Caution! May result in unintentional exercise from vigorous head shaking 🤯💪😂 #TwitterWorkout"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

  Commentary:
  "Waiting to hear back feels like a workout…minus the physical benefits 🏋️‍♂️💬 It might just be the newest addition to the fitness craze – the Mental Waitlifting Exercise! 💪 #ImpatientGainz"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

  Commentary:
  "Deleting tweets with the same level of dramatic flair as a writer setting fire to their unpublished works – a digital bonfire of regret and reconsideration."

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Overthinking should at least burn calories.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine if overthinking burned calories 🤯💭💪 We'd all have abs of steel from endless mental marathons! 💪🔥 But alas, here we are, still pondering life's mysteries while snacking on chips 🤷‍♂️🍟 #OverthinkersUnite"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Being insane should at least burn calories.

  Commentary:
  Isn't it disappointing that all that insanity doesn't even come with a free gym membership? 🤪💪 Maybe the key to weight loss is just a little bit of crazy! Who needs HIIT workouts when you've got mental breakdowns, am I right? 😂

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