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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has shared:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has viewed:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has viewed:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has viewed:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

β€œDon’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people β€œThanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Breaking via TikTok:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Making waves on TikTok:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Just landed via X:

British people be like β€œI’m Bri ish” cause they drank the β€œT”

Making waves on TikTok:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Trending via Slack:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Making waves on Reddit:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Just shared via Discord:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Home Β» Funny Career Quotes Β» Page 6

51 Funny career quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has viewed:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has copied:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has viewed:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has shared:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has copied:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Discord:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Live now on LinkedIn:

β€œI could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Shared recently on Discord:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Reported on Snapchat:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

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