29 Funny clock quotes

• I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

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  15 minutes ago

  40, age, alarm, alarm clock, bladder, changes, clock, humor, i, life, life changes, need, over, over 40, sleep, waking, waking up

• I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

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  17 hours ago

  clock, clock out, ready, tomorrow, work

• Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

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  20 hours ago

  awkward, awkward situation, being, clock, feels, flirt, hostage, hostage situation, humor, situation, while, work

• I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

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  21 hours ago

  annoyance, clock, distraction, evil, hate, i, leave, phone, red, side, technology

• Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

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  2 days ago

  alarm, alarm clock, clock, hit, humor, i, life, morning, procrastination, snooze, wish, wishing

• When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

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  2 days ago

  bring, chess, chess clock, clock, clocks, dessert, dining, fork, humor, joke, know, let, person, should, smack, turn, waiter

• Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

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  2 days ago

  awake, clock, every, grandfather, grandfather clock, hour, humor, insomnia, nothing, remind, reminder, sleep, still, time

• No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

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  3 weeks ago

  actually, alarm, alarm clock, annoyance, babe, before, clock, full, hour, humor, love, me, morning, only, partner, relationship, sarcasm, starting, wake, wake up

• Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

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  1 month ago

  clock, difference, gender, gender difference, humor, independence, man, men, money, relationship, woman, women

• What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

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  1 month ago

  alarm, alarm clock, bed, bedtime, before, clock, clocks, hope, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, people, routine, sleep, time, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up, work

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