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The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

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Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

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FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

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USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

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Canโ€™t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

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What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

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If white men canโ€™t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

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Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

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If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

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Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

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