You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'liquid courage meets intense gaze' situation. 🍸👀 It's like a high-stakes game of staring contest with a twist – and by twist, I mean the potential for awkward confessions and questionable decisions! Proceed with caution, folks. 😆"

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Commentary:
"Who knew those sweets had such powerful eye contact game? 💸🍭 But hey, bankruptcy is just a small price to pay for a moment of sugary temptation, right? 😂 #SweetToothProblems"

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor's dog.

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Commentary:
"🐶 Who needs a human emergency contact when you have a loyal furry friend ready to fetch help at a moment's notice? Single life level: Expert. 😂"

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Commentary:
"Your screams are in a queue and will be answered in the order they were received. Please hold on to your sanity, it's a long wait ahead! 😈🌀 #SpookyCustomerService"

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Commentary:
"Looks like the herd is strictly monochrome 🐑😂! Who needs a black sheep when you've got a flock of avoidant eye-contact experts? 👀🚫 "