22 Funny contact quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs dating apps when you can have the riveting experience of conversing with tech support for hours without any progress 😂💔 #ModernDatingStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the classic recipe for social disaster! 🍸👀 Just add a splash of liquid courage and a sprinkle of intense gazes, and voilà – you've got yourself a cocktail of chaos! Proceed with caution, folks. 😂🚫"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic teenage maneuver! 👀🙉🙅‍♂️ It's like they have a Ph.D. in selective hearing and rebellious behavior! 🤣 Maybe we should start taking notes from them on how to expertly navigate the art of subtle defiance. 📝😜 #TeenageWisdom

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

  Commentary:
  "Who would have thought that social distancing could become a walk down memory lane? Childhood punishments turned hobbies – talk about a blast from the past! 🏠😷 #TheUnintentionalThrowback"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

  Commentary:
  Well, that's one sneaky pup! 😂🐶 It seems like your dog knows how to keep you on your toes with their unpredictable antics. Who knew our furry friends could be such masters of deception? Just imagine the mischief they get up to when we're not around! 🐾 #DoggyDrama

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the modern-day version of "Talk to the hand!" 💸💼 Don't bother calling or texting, just send those dollar signs my way! 💰📱 This is the age of financial communication!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the sheer audacity of a new device trying to login… from the cozy confines of your own home! 🤔📱🏠 Quick, call Interpol! This is clearly a case for the world's top cyber secret agents to handle! 🔍🕵️‍♂️💼"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'liquid courage meets intense gaze' situation. 🍸👀 It's like a high-stakes game of staring contest with a twist – and by twist, I mean the potential for awkward confessions and questionable decisions! Proceed with caution, folks. 😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew those sweets had such powerful eye contact game? 💸🍭 But hey, bankruptcy is just a small price to pay for a moment of sugary temptation, right? 😂 #SweetToothProblems"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

  Commentary:
  "🐶 Who needs a human emergency contact when you have a loyal furry friend ready to fetch help at a moment's notice? Single life level: Expert. 😂"

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