40 Funny contact quotes

• Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

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  3 weeks ago

  contact, day, device, every, house, humor, i, Interpol, irony, location, login, me, much, new, oh, phone, sarcasm, say, single, thank, warning

• You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

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  3 weeks ago

  alcohol, communication, contact, danger, dangerous, date, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, me, relationship, social, social interaction, tell, want

• Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

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  3 weeks ago

  accidental, accidentally, bankruptcy, contact, eye, eye contact, grocery, grocery store, humor, shopping, store, sweets, temptation

• I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

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  3 weeks ago

  contact, dog, emergency, emergency contact, humor, i, loneliness, me, neighbor, neighbors, put, relationship, single

• Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

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  3 weeks ago

  abyss, comedy, contact, customer, customer service, dark, dark comedy, existential, humor, important, scream, service, thank, thank you

• “My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

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  3 weeks ago

  awkwardness, black, black sheep, contact, denial, everyone, eye, eye contact, family, humor, i, relationships, say, sheep

• If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

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  3 weeks ago

  awkward, contact, crush, ever, eye, eye contact, humor, i, imagination, interaction, just, know, much, social, social interaction, too

• On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

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  3 weeks ago

  babe, communication, contact, contacts, full, full name, government, government office, humor, i, identity, love, name, never, nickname, office, phone, phone contact, relationship, save, saved, texting

• My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

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  3 weeks ago

  animal, anxiety, avoid, away, contact, eye, eye contact, greeting, hello, hope, humor, i, instinct, introvert, person, say, social, social anxiety

• I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

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  3 weeks ago

  awkward, contact, direct, dog, eating, eye, eye contact, feel, hot, hot dog, humor, interaction, just, social, social interaction, weird, while

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