Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1084 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,246

Funny Quotes Topics

14,149

Funny Quotes Images

11,246

5 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Spotted on Facebook:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Trending via Discord:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Going viral on X:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Going viral on WeChat:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Freshly posted on Discord:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Just landed via Facebook:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Home » Funny Couple Quotes

54 Funny couple quotes

Funny couple quotes are the perfect way to add a sprinkle of laughter 😂 to your relationship! Whether you’re poking fun at love’s quirks or capturing those adorable moments 🥰, these quotes bring smiles and giggles 🤭 to couples everywhere. Perfect for sharing with your partner or spicing up your social media feed, they highlight the humor and joy that come with being in love ❤️. Dive into the world of witty banter and playful jabs!

New funny couple quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Commentary:
When the honeymoon budget transforms into the "we-say-we're-buying-new-cabinets-but-really-it's-a-surprise-trip" fund 😂✈️👰🏻‍♀️
2 weeks ago
Share →: Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic love saga: from "you take my breath away" to "why are you breathing?" 🤦‍♂️❤️
2 weeks ago
Share →: People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Commentary:
Boldly going where no 'Trekkie' has gone before… straight into the wrong fandom 🚀🌌😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Commentary:
When life gets ruff, bring in the squawkologist! 🐦🦜😂
3 weeks ago
Share →: Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Commentary:
"Don't worry, I'm just saving my energy for the grand finale of destiny 😂✨ #ProphecyProcrastination"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Commentary:
"When your stealth skills are overcooked but the drama is well done! 🍔😂 #Whoopsie"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Commentary:
"Who knew speed dating had a sequel? 😂👩‍❤️‍👨🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️ #TherapistsNightmare #StrangersInTherapy"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Commentary:
"Couples who scroll together, roll together! 📱❤️ #RelationshipGoals 😂"
1 month ago
Share →: It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Commentary:
"Finally permission to let go of my 'museum of ancient tech boxes'! 📦✨ #BoxHoarderNoMore"
2 months ago
Share →: Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Commentary:
When your bed becomes a personal version of Tetris! 🛏️😴😂

For even more funny couple quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny couple quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1084 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,246

Funny Quotes Topics

14,149

Funny Quotes Images

11,246

5 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Going viral on Messenger:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Spreading quickly via X:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Just landed via Messenger:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Just shared via Telegram:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Reported on Messenger:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Spotted on TikTok:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Just shared via Telegram:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Trending via Reddit:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴