61 Funny dark humor quotes

• This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

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  2 months ago

  body, bomb, daily, daily routine, dark, dark humor, day, every, exaggeration, humor, i, irony, routine, self-deprecation, suicide, suicide bomb, temple

• When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

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  2 months ago

  ability, attitude, bad, dark, dark humor, die, hope, humor, i, irony, pessimism, sarcasm, self-deprecation, situation, take, worse

• I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

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  2 months ago

  alibi, crime, dark, dark humor, friend, friendship, humor, humorist, joke, shovel, shows

• Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

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  2 months ago

  control, control freak, dark, dark humor, death, eulogy, freak, funny perspective, funny thought, humor, i, loved, ones, own, perspective, quirky, relatable, say, thinking, thought, thoughts, want, writing

• Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

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  2 months ago

  backyard, body, cops, crime, dark, dark humor, deception, digging, ever, guy, humor, police, reputation, sarcasm

• There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

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  2 months ago

  dark, dark humor, hell, humor, insult, joke, me, next, people, place, playful, playful insult, sarcasm, special, teasing, witty

• My plan is to die young as late as possible.

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  2 months ago

  dark, dark humor, death, die, humor, humor statement, late, life, longevity, philosophy, plan, statement, wit, young

• It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

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  2 months ago

  dark, dark humor, death, died, disaster, good, humor, irony, lot, movie, only, people, thing, Titanic

• “Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

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  2 months ago

  dark, dark humor, frustration, health, humor, just, live, mental, mental health, password, resilience, sarcasm, too, wait

• Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

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  2 months ago

  abandoned, abandonment, biological, biological weapon, dark, dark humor, development, early, engineering, humanity, humor, left, satire, weapon

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