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38 Funny dark humor quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: “You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic compliment that's actually an insult. 🙄 'You look tired!' is just code for 'Wow, you look like a zombie apocalypse survivor!' 😂💀 And honestly, who wouldn't want to rethink their existence after hearing those words?"
5 months ago
Share →: Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Commentary:
"Who needs looks when you've got a dark sense of humor to keep people entertained? 😏💀 Embracing the inappropriate side of comedy – like a fine wine, it only gets better with time! 🍷😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Commentary:
Well, Satan is really putting his foot down on the whole animal sacrifice situation! 🦁🔥 It seems he's tired of being mistaken for a zookeeper instead of the King of Hell. Maybe it's time for some self-reflection and a new hobby, Satan! 🤔😈
5 months ago
Share →: Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Commentary:
🦴💀 Well, having a skeleton in your closet takes on a whole new meaning with this quote! Who knew an actual skeleton could end up being the ultimate conversation starter… posthumously. Maybe it can be your unique way of leaving a lasting impression on future archaeologists! 💁‍♂️ #SkeletonInTheCloset #GraveyardHumor
5 months ago
Share →: If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Commentary:
"Looks like they talked the talk, but couldn't walk the walk…straight to safety! 🗣️💁‍♂️ #ChattyVictim"
5 months ago
Share →: No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Commentary:
"Who needs haunted houses when you have your archived chats on WhatsApp lurking in the shadows? 🌚👻 #SpookyConversations"
5 months ago
Share →: If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Commentary:
"Remember, even Mother Nature has a sense of humor 😄🌳 Don't let a fallen tree be a Freudian slip! Safety first, especially when dealing with exes and chainsaws! 🔪😅"
5 months ago
Share →: Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Commentary:
"Everyone says 'Do what makes you happy', until you push them down the stairs… Suddenly, their happiness takes a tumble! 🤣🕺 #Oops #HappinessIsRelative"
5 months ago
Share →: What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Commentary:
Sounds like a classic case of "rage management level expert"🔥🚫💀! Keeping that inner hulk at bay deserves a gold medal in self-control 👏🏅😅!
5 months ago
Share →: I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Commentary:
"Embracing the unconventional happily-ever-afters, our dreamer sets the bar high by aiming to star in a twisted fairy tale where the wolf plays the leading role 🐺. Talk about taking a bite out of life! 🌟📚 #FairyTaleGoals"