96 Funny death quotes

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

  Commentary:
  Well, life's been throwing curveballs like it's trying to win the World Series! ⚾💔😂

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: 80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

  Commentary:
  Well, I guess this is the ultimate problem of future me! 🤔💀🤣

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

  Commentary:
  Paws before you scare! 😅🐶🚶‍♂️🛑

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Life is too short, and death is too long.

  Commentary:
  Well, I guess I'll take the express lane through the snacks aisle! 🍕⏱️👻

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

  Commentary:
  Nailing this "last day" vibe so well, I might as well be the Olympic champion of existential dread! 🏆😅

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

  Commentary:
  No body heat issues when you're forever hot stuff! 🔥💀😎

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

  Commentary:
  Heading to the haunted house for my final destination. Rent-free living with ghostly roommates? Count me in! 👻🏚️😂

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

  Commentary:
  "Classic Carl, always ruining a good flight. 😂💀🦗"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, nothing screams romance like 'till death do us start!' 😂💀🌹"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

  Commentary:
  "At least you'll get the last word… and the last laugh! 😂✏️📝 #UltimateControl"

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