Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Trending via TikTok:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Trending via Snapchat:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Going viral on X:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Making waves on TikTok:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Home » Funny Dream Quotes » Page 2

77 Funny dream quotes

More funny dream quotes 👇

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

0

1 month ago

aspiration, band, dream, humor, i, let, me, Metallica, music, musician, rock, want
I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

0

1 month ago

blanket, call, couch, dream, friend, friends, human, human blanket, i, lifelong, lifelong dream, nap, napping, still
No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

0

1 month ago

conversation, curiosity, dream, facts, fear, fun, fun facts, humor, humor in conversation, i, know, last, nightmare, want
People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

0

1 month ago

conflict, dream, dynamics, face, frustration, humor, office, office humor, people, punch, reason, sarcasm, say, social, social dynamics, teamwork, want, work, workplace
Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

0

1 month ago

activity, being, better, cigarette, cigarettes, dream, ever, fun, fun activity, humor, LinkedIn, networking, socializing, tool
I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

0

1 month ago

activity, aspiration, books, career, dream, dream job, figures, fun, fun activity, got, i, job, leisure, paid, park, reading, relaxation, six, six figures, wish
My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

0

1 month ago

AI, beautiful, beauty, being, competition, computer, contest, crafting, creativity, cry, dream, emotion, humor, i, story, writing, writing contest
So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

0

1 month ago

able, day, distraction, dream, feelings, glad, humor, i, me, mental, mental state, moving, moving on, sarcasm, state, subconscious, thinking
No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

0

1 month ago

chasing, confidence, dream, dreams, humor, i, know, lazy, longer, me, nap, relaxation, self-care, want, where
That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

0

1 month ago

awkward, awkward moment, dream, everything, going, humor, life, moment, perfectly, reality, wake

For even more funny dream quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dream quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

19 shares on X this month:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

88 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

85 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Spotted on Slack:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Going viral on Slack:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Trending via Slack:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Activity Log ✨

77 Funny dream quotes

More funny dream quotes 👇

All funny dream quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨