20 funny egg quotes - Wordgag ツ

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Feb 2, 2026

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Feb 2, 2026

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Feb 1, 2026

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Jan 31, 2026

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Jan 31, 2026

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Jan 30, 2026

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Jan 30, 2026

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Jan 30, 2026

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Jan 30, 2026

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Jan 29, 2026

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Jan 28, 2026

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Jan 28, 2026

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Jan 22, 2026

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Jan 22, 2026

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Jan 21, 2026

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Jan 21, 2026

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Jan 21, 2026

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Jan 21, 2026

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Jan 20, 2026

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Jan 19, 2026