360 Funny every quotes

• Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

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  1 month ago

  adult, class, Cody, elementary, elementary school, every, growing, growing up, i, met, name, nostalgia, school, where

• Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

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  1 month ago

  apple, apples, bad, blueberry, delicious, disgusting, Doritos, every, food, food humor, fruit, great, humor, inconsistency, know, problem, same, snack, sometimes, taste, time

• ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

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  1 month ago

  2, ADHD, again, appliance, blender, buy, day, even, ever, every, forgetfulness, habit, humor, kitchen, kitchen appliance, never, routine, smoothie, weeks

• Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

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  1 month ago

  absolutely, another, awkward, awkward interaction, being, boyfriend, daughter, every, family, hate, hospitality, human, humor, interaction, life, me, nice, question, relationship, watching, while, wife

• If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

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  1 month ago

  alphabet, every, humor, letter, music, pace, song, sprint, sweet, take, time, timing

• Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

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  1 month ago

  daily, daily routine, day, encouragement, every, got, humor, i, motivation, myself, routine, self-talk, tell, weirdness

• Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

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  1 month ago

  doo, every, just, landlord, people, property, scare, scooby, Scooby Doo, sell, show, trying, villain, woke

• Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

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  1 month ago

  adjuster, call, comedy, dinosaur, disaster, end, every, getting, humor, insurance, insurance adjuster, jurassic, Jurassic Park, movie, park, phone, phone call, reaction, should, throwing

• I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

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  1 month ago

  bedtime, before, day, even, every, hope, human, humans, humor, i, insomnia, management, midnight, normal, normal human, procrastination, sleep, time, time management, today, tomorrow, yesterday

• Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

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  1 month ago

  anxiety, before, business, entrepreneur, every, humor, i, night, nights, own, run, small, small business, stress, suffer, Sunday, Sunday night, work

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