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Funny evolution quotes

Trending Funny Evolution Quotes 🔥

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!
No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.
So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.
We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”
Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

New funny evolution quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: “Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Commentary:
"Poor 'rofl,' rolled away into the sunset, while 'lmao' is still laughing his… assets off! 😂🤣 #RIPROFL"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Commentary:
"BRB, upgrading my brain software. Please hold while I process your opinion! 🧠🔄😂"
3 months ago
Share →: No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Commentary:
"Nature: where dinosaurs go to reinvent themselves with a feathered makeover 🦕➡️🦖➡️🐦 Who knew evolution had a flair for fashion? 🌿 #NatureTransformations #DinosaursAreBirds"
3 months ago
Share →: If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Commentary:
"Well, evolution might need to pick up the pace on that one and give moms a few extra hands to juggle all the chaos they deal with on a daily basis. Until then, moms will just have to rely on their superhuman multitasking skills to get through the day!"
5 months ago
Share →: Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Commentary:
"Sure, humans may be at the top of the evolutionary ladder, but when you think about it… bears really have life all figured out, don't they? 🐻💤 Who needs evolution when you can just eat, sleep, and repeat for four months straight? Bears: 1, Humans: 0. 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Commentary:
"Who knew that the secret to human evolution was carbs and couch surfing? 🍕🛋️💪 #SurvivalOfTheWellFed"
5 months ago
Share →: First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Commentary:
First caveman to see fire: "Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs" 🔥👀 *stomps it out* "and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that." 😂🦴 #NotAFanOfInnovation
5 months ago
Share →: So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Commentary:
🌊🦑🐟🌿 "Shoutout to our amazing ancestors for making that epic transition from sea-dwellers to land conquerors! 🙌🏼 But hey, maybe they just got a little too comfortable on land and forgot they had an ocean to run back to? 😂🚶🏽‍♂️🌊 #EvolutionGoneWild"
5 months ago
Share →: We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Commentary:
"Running into those folks who make us question evolution like 🤔🧬 Maybe they missed the memo to keep evolving? 🙈 #EvolutionaryHiccups"
5 months ago
Share →: Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Commentary:
"Ah, the audacity of that restless amoeba changing the course of evolution! Now we have to deal with Mondays, the struggle is real 🙄🌊 #BlameTheAmoeba"