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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Just shared via Discord:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Just shared via Reddit:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Spotted on X:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Spotted on Messenger:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Breaking via Twitch:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Spotted on WeChat:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Just shared via X:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

35 Funny forgot quotes

Funny forgot quotes are the perfect way to laugh off those moments when your memory decides to take a vacation 🧠💨! Whether you forgot your keys, your coffee, or why you walked into a room, these playful reminders bring humor to everyday forgetfulness 😂🔑☕. Embrace the oops with a smile and share the fun—because everyone forgets, but not everyone laughs about it like a pro! 😜🎉

New funny forgot quotes 👇

For even more funny forgot quotes, hit next 👇

All funny forgot quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Just landed via Reddit:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Freshly posted on Threads:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Trending via Telegram:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

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