11 Funny hire quotes

• I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

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  6 hours ago

  asked, boss, conversation, employee, everyone, hire, hiring, humor, i, insult, joke, knows, me, people, remember, stupid, stupidity, told, work

• Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

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  1 day ago

  afford, band, bands, concert, cook, hire, humor, machine, should, smoke, smoke machine, wife

• With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

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  3 weeks ago

  another, care, dog, dog sitter, fool, hire, humor, pet, pet care, rate, sitter, survival, survival rate

• I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

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  3 weeks ago

  business, candid, hate, hire, hiring, humor, i, interview, job, just, me, real, stand

• Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

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  2 months ago

  every, hire, humor, insurance, knows, marriage, personality, relationship, someone, works

• They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

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  2 months ago

  actually, after, application, employment, hire, hiring, humor, invent, job, job rejection, job search, rejection, search, should, wants

• I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

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  2 months ago

  co-worker, coworkers, hire, humor, i, personality, safely, sarcasm, say, think, workplace

• I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

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  2 months ago

  afford, cutbacks, employed, employment, financial, financial struggle, hire, humor, i, irony, job, job market, market, me, money, right, self, self employment, self-employed, struggle, thinking

• My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

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  3 months ago

  cleaning, domestic, domestic life, hire, housekeeper, humor, life, mess, refuse, refuses, relationship, want, wife

• My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

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  3 months ago

  company, diversity, hire, humor, never, twins, workplace

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