73 Funny history quotes

• If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

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  5 days ago

  Britain, going, history, humor, infrastructure, invasion, least, need, resurfacing, road, roman

• It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

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  5 days ago

  battle, battles, civil, civil war, early, early morning, history, humor, me, morning, side, strategy, wake, wake up, war, war strategy, woke

• We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

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  5 days ago

  cake, challenge, change, confidence, done, history, humor, piece, politics, regime, regime change, sarcasm, should, success, well

• There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

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  5 days ago

  9-5, 9-5 job, 95, history, human, human history, job, legacy, life, memory, person, single, spending, work, work life, working

• Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

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  5 days ago

  cause, even, ferdinand, franz, Franz Ferdinand, girl, history, humor, i, joke, main, name, saw, t-shirt, three, war, world, World War I

• US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

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  6 days ago

  border, etiquette, five, guy, history, humor, last, media, need, question, social, social media, tip, us, US etiquette

• When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

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  6 days ago

  common, death, definition, die, disappointed, disappointment, history, humor, i, just, language, misunderstanding, search, search history, sure, through, using, word, words

• First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

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  6 days ago

  activity, couple, crime, criminal, criminal history, date, date idea, first date, history, humor, idea, joke, others, relationship, search, together

• Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

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  6 days ago

  behavior, child, child behavior, dawn, difficult, difficulty, evolution, history, human, human history, humor, kid, kids, making, man, parenting, things

• Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

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  7 days ago

  block, era, fast, fast pace, game, going, grateful, history, human, human history, humor, life, living, modern, modern life, overwhelmed, pace, Tetris, too, video, video game

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