27 Funny list quotes

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

  Commentary:
  "In a mood-lifting mission! 🕊️ Free the blocked, spread the cheer! 😂 #PardonThePrisoners"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

  Commentary:
  "Life hack: turn productivity into a game of 'How many tasks can I fake complete today? 😎✍️✨ #DopamineOverdose"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

  Commentary:
  "Right?! I mean, there's no way all those talented aliens are just extras! 👽🎬 #GiveAliensCredit"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

  Commentary:
  Classic! Looks like forgetfulness runs in the family—and in your grocery cart! 😂🛒📝

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

  Commentary:
  When your gratitude journal ends up serving as your way to remember milk and eggs 🥛🍳—guess even gratitude has a shopping list now! 📝🛒 Talk about a grocery run for good vibes! 😄✨

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

  Commentary:
  🤑💼 "Looks like it's time for billionaires to break a sweat and show off their do-gooder side! Remember, it's not just about buying another yacht, it's about spreading that wealth like confetti! Let's see those philanthropic muscles flex, folks! Otherwise, it might be time to say 'buh-bye' to those stacks of cash! 💸🌟"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about a plot twist! The most shocking reveal of the year could be tied to more drama than all the movies combined at the Oscars! 🍿🎬 #EpsteinListTakeover"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

  Commentary:
  🚑💡 "Saw an article on '100 things to do before you die.' Apparently, calling 911 didn't make the cut! Guess some thrills are just too intense for that bucket list! 🤣"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, looks like someone is on the naughty list! 😜🎅 Maybe Santa isn't real, but hey, at least someone is making sure we all behave…right? 😉📜 #ListCheckingGoals

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even your to-do list needs a to-do list! 📝😆 Who needs a personal assistant when you've got jokes like these! 💁‍♂️ #ProcrastinationNation"

For even more funny list quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny list quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌