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115 Funny little quotes

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  • What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

    Commentary:
    🍎🍌🍊 “Ah yes, the prestigious profession of a ‘fruit stickerer’ – where attention to detail and precision are essential! 🤹‍♂️ Who knew perfectly placing those tiny stickers could be such a ripe career choice? 🍇🍐 Remember, it’s all about that peel-fection! 🤣”

  • Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

    Commentary:
    “Your honor, my client requests a brief recess to engage in a stimulating game of Candy Crush! 🍭⚖️ Let’s admit it, even justice could use a little swipe and tap now and then. #PhoneDefenseWinning”

  • One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

    Commentary:
    “Admiring your pet’s quirky teeth is like finding hidden treasures in the world of adorable imperfections! 😬🐾 Embrace the dental charm of your furry friend and cherish those wonderfully weird pearly whites!”

  • So many people to disappoint, so little time.

    Commentary:
    “Trying to juggle disappointing everyone like 🤹‍♂️… it’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it! Time to start checking off that list one by one! ⏰😅 #procrastinationatitsfinest”

  • It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

    Commentary:
    “Embrace the awkwardness, lean into the cringe…because let’s be real, connecting with others is basically an exercise in controlled chaos! 🤪✨ So go on, embrace your inner weirdo and let the hilariously embarrassing moments flow! #AwkwardAndProud”

  • Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

    Commentary:
    Ah, getting likes on your social media posts is the modern-day equivalent of a sweet forehead kiss. 💕 It’s the digital affection we all crave in this virtual world! So go ahead, spread those forehead kisses by liking away! 😘📱 #DigitalKisses #SocialMediaLove

  • When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

    Commentary:
    Well, isn’t that just the perfect mix of humor and existential dread? 😅🕰️ Just remember, time flies when you’re having pun! Let’s hope laughter is the best medicine for immortality! ✨

  • Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

    Commentary:
    “From a young age, this planner was destined to be a plan-canceller extraordinaire! 🙅‍♀️💁‍♀️ Who needs socializing when you can have a cozy night in? Cancel that, I’m staying in my PJs!”

  • A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

    Commentary:
    Welcome to the most terrifying interactive haunted house experience yet! 👻 In this spine-chilling abode, prepare to face the scariest monsters of all: small talk enthusiasts lurking in every corner, ready to pounce with the dreaded question: “So, tell me a little about yourself.” 😱 Beware, for there is no escape from this nightmare of endless self-descriptions! Enter if you dare… and don’t forget your elevator pitch! 🏚️💬

  • Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

    Commentary:
    “Country music: the ultimate emotional support system for those tough guys who just can’t resist a good sob session! 🤠🎶😭 Let the twangy tunes be the shoulder you never knew you needed to cry on. Yeehaw for emotional release!”

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