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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2143 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,305

Funny Quotes Topics

15,032

Funny Quotes Images

12,305

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Seen just now on Slack:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Seen just now on X:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Just shared via Messenger:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Breaking via X:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Shared recently on Reddit:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Home » Funny Little Quotes » Page 3

167 Funny little quotes

More funny little quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Commentary:
Rudeness level: Just enough to make sure nonsense has left the chat! 😏✋🤣
5 days ago
Share →: If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Commentary:
Chilly office? Looks like they’re trying to keep their scaly secret from overheating! 🦎❄️
5 days ago
Share →: That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Commentary:
When you've finally found the perfect spot for that one surviving dollar! 💸👖🤣
5 days ago
Share →: Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Commentary:
Why pay for a jump scare when your front camera does it for free? 🍿😱📱
6 days ago
Share →: Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Commentary:
Could you also give it a massage while you're at it? 😂🧸✨
6 days ago
Share →: Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Commentary:
Sure, I'm ready for an alien invasion with popcorn in hand. 👽🍿 Let's spice things up a bit before the apocalypse!
1 week ago
Share →: It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Commentary:
When your car needs a snack but you're all out of oil, just let it nibble on that curb 🍽️😂🚗💥
1 week ago
Share →: Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Commentary:
That’s one way to share your fairy tale ending, plot twist included! 📚😂💔
1 week ago
Share →: Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Commentary:
Sounds like we need to negotiate with Father Time for a more fun age! 🎉😅🔄
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Commentary:
Spreading joy like it's confetti and the world is on a BBQ 🍿🔥😄

For even more funny little quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny little quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Going viral on Facebook:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Going viral on Twitch:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Going viral on TikTok:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Spreading quickly via X:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Just landed via Slack:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Live now on Pinterest:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

167 Funny little quotes

More funny little quotes 👇

For even more funny little quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny little quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

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