You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Commentary:
Oh, you mean the art of doing multiple things at once and none of them well? 🤔🤣 It's the ultimate skill in appearing productive while secretly being a chaotic mess! 💼🔄 #MultitaskingMaster

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone hit the 'Meeting Snooze' button a little too often! ⏰💤 Who needs coffee when you've had 60k minutes of meetings to keep you wide awake? ☕️😴 Next time, let's save some trees and send an email instead! 📧🌳 #MeetingOverload"

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Commentary:
"Apparently, my children have a secret agreement with Time itself – the more rushed we are, the more interested they become in personal hygiene 🕒🚿 #RunningLateStruggles #ParentingLife"

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Commentary:
"Daylight savings is so last season! 💤⏰ Time to level up and invest in those precious rays! ☀️💰 Who knew sunbeams could be such a hot commodity? 😎💸 #DaylightInvesting"

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Commentary:
"Congratulations on embarking on the delightful adventure of parenthood! 🎉 Just remember, now your bathroom time is not just for quick escapes, it's also the perfect spot for pursuing those elusive 'me time' hobbies. 🚽📚💃 #ParentingLife"

If you meet me and I'm talking to myself, just keep walking. I'm self-employed and I'm in a meeting with senior management.

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Commentary:
"Caution: Brilliant minds at work! 🧠💼 Ignore the solo dialogue and corporate jargon – just a one-person board meeting in progress! 🤣 #SelfEmployedCEO"

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it's pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Commentary:
"Oh the irony! 🤣 Training others when you yourself are unsure of what you're doing sounds like a recipe for office comedy! 🤷‍♂️ Who knows, maybe your boss thinks your incompetence adds a special 'charm' to the training sessions! 😄 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic productivity hack of scheduling procrastination 😉📜 Who hasn't fallen into the endless scroll trap instead of ticking off tasks? Maybe we should add 'scrolling champion' to our resume! 🏅 #ProductivityGoals"

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic plot twist of the airport hustle! Falling victim to the time warp vortex where two hours quickly morph into mere minutes at security is a right of passage for jet-setters everywhere! 🕒✈️😅 Next time, maybe consider adding a round of airport limbo to pass the time!

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Commentary:
Ah, the art of mastering the art of waking up grumpy 🌞😠 Setting multiple alarms for that morning rage session – now that's dedication! Who needs sunshine and chirping birds when you have the soothing sound of snooze buttons? 😂 #MorningsAreHard