35 Funny management quotes

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  4 days ago

  View →: How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.
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  1 month ago

  View →: I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.
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  2 months ago

  View →: It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Later is the best time to do anything.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!
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  3 months ago

  View →: Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
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  4 months ago

  View →: You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.
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  4 months ago

  View →: If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.
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  5 months ago

  View →: All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.
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  5 months ago

  View →: It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

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