39 Funny management quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

  Commentary:
  "Congratulations on embarking on the delightful adventure of parenthood! 🎉 Just remember, now your bathroom time is not just for quick escapes, it's also the perfect spot for pursuing those elusive 'me time' hobbies. 🚽📚💃 #ParentingLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

  Commentary:
  "Caution: Brilliant minds at work! 🧠💼 Ignore the solo dialogue and corporate jargon – just a one-person board meeting in progress! 🤣 #SelfEmployedCEO"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

  Commentary:
  "Oh the irony! 🤣 Training others when you yourself are unsure of what you're doing sounds like a recipe for office comedy! 🤷‍♂️ Who knows, maybe your boss thinks your incompetence adds a special 'charm' to the training sessions! 😄 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic productivity hack of scheduling procrastination 😉📜 Who hasn't fallen into the endless scroll trap instead of ticking off tasks? Maybe we should add 'scrolling champion' to our resume! 🏅 #ProductivityGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic plot twist of the airport hustle! Falling victim to the time warp vortex where two hours quickly morph into mere minutes at security is a right of passage for jet-setters everywhere! 🕒✈️😅 Next time, maybe consider adding a round of airport limbo to pass the time!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the art of mastering the art of waking up grumpy 🌞😠 Setting multiple alarms for that morning rage session – now that's dedication! Who needs sunshine and chirping birds when you have the soothing sound of snooze buttons? 😂 #MorningsAreHard

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

  Commentary:
  🎄🛍️ "Quick, someone sound the jingle bells and grab the tinsel! Only 365 shopping days left until Christmas – time to start panicking, folks! Remember, the early shopper gets the best deals… and a lot less stress come December 😉🎅"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs an alarm clock when you have a reliable internal clock that never fails to wake you up right on time? 😴⏰#SnoozeButtonWho #BodyClockWinsAgain"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic "procrastination strategy"! Master of the art of delaying tasks until the very last moment 🤭⏳. Why rush when you can savor the sweet anticipation of looming deadlines, am I right? 🤣 #ProcrastinationGoals

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

  Commentary:
  "A micromanager is like a gardener who trims away all the flowers and wonders why the garden looks bare 🌸🌿 Don't be surprised if your top talent decides to take a stroll to a more welcoming garden! 🚶‍♂️💼"

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